Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Cultivating Happiness - Personal Essay

Happiness is a garden that is easily overrun with weeds if not tended to with care.

Whenever I find myself in the dumps, I always come to realize that I have been neglecting my garden of happiness.  During some parts of my life when depression was firmly rooted, I had to start over and build a new garden. It was a lot of hard work. Gardening is a big commitment and so is happiness in my experience.

When did I become so unsatisfied with life?  At a younger age, I beamed with joy and optimism.  Love was in my every step.  People were a source of pleasure and joy.

Now, I frown a lot and have the wrinkles to show for it. My steps feel heavy from the extra pounds added. People have become a never ending source of annoyance and frustration.

When did I swing from optimist to pessimist?
Is it my age? Am I a grouchy old woman?
Is it my new role as Mom? Wait, am I turning into MY Mom?  (I love you Mom. Just using creative liberty.) Has my spirit been finally broken by this cold cruel world?  Am I defeated?

It could be all of those things and yet none of them at all.

Just keep planting seeds of happiness in my garden and weeding out all the things and people who make me unhappy.

All the things I listed above could very well be a bunch of bullshit I can hopefully use to fertilize my garden.